Star Trek Video Game Sucked So Hard It Hurt J.J. Abrams’ Feelings

We here at Hardcore Gamer didn’t have particularly nice things to say about the Star Trek video game. In fact, we didn’t even really have particularly mean things to say about it, as most of the things we said in our review could only really be classified as “abominable”. When the review is summarized as “no one should play this and we should shoot it into space” you can probably assume we didn’t like it. And it wasn’t just us either. Metacritic currently has the game sitting at a 42 out of 100, and one of the nicest things people said about it was that it represented “an unoriginal example of an archaic form of entertainment.” Apparently, it wasn’t just us mean old video game reviewers that didn’t like the game, as J.J. Abrams clearly wasn’t a fan based off his response to in a recent interview.

“The last game, which was obviously a big disappointment to me, was something that we were actually involved in at the very beginning of it and then we sort of realized that it was not going in a place that we were going to get what we wanted, so we dropped out and they continued to do it despite, you know…”

Clearly the way he wanted to end that sentence was “they continued to do it despite it being an absolute piece of space trash,” but Abrams was too classy to say that directly. What he did say, however, is slightly more depressing as apparently the game was so terrible in every way that it made him actually sad. From the same interview:

“…for me emotionally it hurt, because we were working our asses off making the movie and then this game came out and it got, it’s not even my opinion, it got universally panned and I think that it was something without question that didn’t help the movie and arguably hurt it.”

Think back to the worst thing you’ve ever made. Now consider how much worse it would have to be for its mere existence to hurt someones feelings. Like, not mad that they were exposed to it or disappointed with the final product upon seeing it, but that the mere fact that it existed, sucking somewhere out there in the world was making someone sad. That’s how bad the Star Trek game was. J.J. Abrams has made a couple of really good Star Trek movies but can’t even enjoy them because someone out there is making terrible Star Trek games that are so closely related to what he’s doing that he’s afraid the suck might be contagious. The game was so bad that J.J. Abrams is afraid it affected his movie via the transitive property of suckage.

Abrams might feel bad, but I guarantee you he doesn’t feel as bad as someone who actually wasted money on that game. Sorry J.J. If it makes you feel any better, making absolutely terrible video games based on movies is kind of tradition by this point. It would have been more shocking if the Star Trek game was halfway decent.