The Hardcore Gamer Holiday Gift Guide 2013

It’s time for Christmas again. Over the next twelve days, people all over the world will be rushing to buy the obligatory gifts for family, friends and goomars. Sometimes, though, it’s hard to care about their hopes and desires, so you’re stuck having “meaningful discussions” and “connecting” with people. Frankly, nobody wants that. However, you shouldn’t worry; Hardcore Gamer is here to make those tough decisions for you. Don’t just buy a generic T-shirt with some pseudo-intellectual quote or trendy phrase; don’t settle for a $5 Applebee’s gift card for the important gamer in your life, browse our selections below and find the perfect item that will make him or her happy enough to return that “puppies of the year” calendar and reconsider their hatred for you. This year, we decided to kick things off with consoles, followed by games. Click the image for the appropriate store.

Note: The Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and Wii were excluded from this gift guide because frankly, if the “gamer” you’re shopping for doesn’t already own one of those three consoles, there’s a strong possibility that they’ve either been living a lie, or consider themselves “gamers” due to their position in the underground competitive marble circuit. In the event that they are indeed professional “marblers,” you should probably not buy them a gift. Actually, don’t be friends with them. If you’re married, know that divorce lawyers are a dime a dozen. No one would blame you. Happy holidays from Hardcore Gamer!

Money Is Nothing To Me


Microsoft decided to focus on living-room domination with the Xbox One, and it’s been a successful takeover. With voice commands, motion control, a great library of games and a camera that never turns off, this console is perfect for any entertainment junkie. Well, with the exception of conspiracy theorists that think Microsoft is working with the KGB. Although, you could always just pick one of these up as well. Problem solved. At least until they realize that the Xbox One is always listening, as well.


Sony built the PlayStation 4 with both developers and gamers in mind, and it definitely shows. With an army of first-party developers working to produce the high-caliber exclusives Sony is known for, the PS4 is a console with plenty of room to grow. It’s the most powerful gaming console on the market, making it the perfect gift for the tech-enthusiast in your life. Unless they’d rather tinker with an old AKAT-1 and calculate some variables.


Nintendo tried to target hardcore gamers with the Wii U, rather than focus on the casual market like with its predecessor, the Wii. Unfortunately, they didn’t succeed. With a lack of third-party developers, the Wii U remains the more casual of the three consoles. Fortunately, Nintendo continues to deliver phenomenal first-party titles, which is why it’s the best console for both children and nostalgia seeking grownups that refuse to accept that Mario has only improved with time.

I Have Some Cash To Spare


As the most powerful handheld gaming device ever created, Sony took a huge risk with the Vita; a risk that, while paying off in execution, has not achieved as remarkable a response in terms of sales. Fortunately, its library is quickly expanding and there are plenty of high-quality, graphically impressive titles on the market. Pick this up for the hardcore gamer in your life that has a job that pays enough to afford games, but not quite enough to dismiss public transportation. Or you know, any gamer that likes portable console-quality games.


Considering its terrible launch, the Nintendo 3DS has become one of the greatest handheld devices of all time. It certainly has a library of amazing games to back that statement, and with plenty more on the way, it’s hard to ignore its value as a portable console . The 3DS is great for humans of any age with a desire to play, learn, love, live, grow, create. The last four words aren’t as applicable, but the play and learn totally are.


You don’t have to be an Android fanatic to recognize that there are mobile games better suited for a controller and large screen. You also don’t have to be cheap to want to try every game for free, or enjoy a plethora of solid emulators for all your favorite consoles of old. The Ouya is perfectly suited for the budget gamer, or someone looking for a casual experience that may very-well prove to be more substantial than expected. Don’t buy this for Mac users, though, as they seem to respond with violence.

I’m Not Doing So Well Right Now


Are you not concerned about quality? Do you not care if something you purchase isn’t built with the safest materials? Does the person you’re shopping for have a deep appreciation for Super Nintendo games? Was your answer yes to any of these questions? Well, you just found the console of his or her dreams; the FC16 Go portable SNES System. Sure, it looks shoddier than a dump-yard crib mattress, but it works. Isn’t that all that matters?


There’s two things the Retron 3 is known for, and one of those things involves playing multiple cartridges from a variety of classic systems, such as the SNES, NES and Genesis. The second is that it’s extremely affordable. If you have someone in your life that enjoys classic video games, the Retron 3 is the perfect gift. Of course, you could just buy them all three individual classic consoles and required accessories, but we both know you’re not that generous.


The best thing that can be said about the FC Mobile II is that it works. This is a budget portable NES console that functions well enough to not make you want to break it against the Christmas tree, so that’s something. You should buy this for the gamer in your life that you don’t like enough to spend more than $50 on their gift. Alternatively, you could just buy this for yourself and make them watch you play. Then, once you’re bored with it, wrap it back up and throw it out. Don’t even give your “loved one” the satisfaction of second-hand gifts.

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