NBA Player: Bad Defense Is Like Letting Someone Steal Video Games

The NBA and weird video games news have made for a beautiful pairing in recent weeks, and New York Knicks guard J.R. Smith is trying his hardest to make sure this couple stays together for at least a little while longer. After the Knicks lost (again), J.R. Smith was reached for comments regarding the team’s defensive performance. The Knicks have been having issues on defense (and offense…and existentially), but luckily Smith was able to put their woes in perspective.

“If you don’t get offended by somebody scoring on you then I don’t know what to tell you. That is like somebody breaking into your house and just taking your video game out of your hand and you just let it happen. I know if you do that to me, it ain’t going to happen. I love my Xbox.”

Let’s ignore the fact that J.R. Smith is a notoriously poor defender at the NBA level for just a second, even though the palpable irony here is hysterical. The line “if you do that to me, it ain’t going to happen” is simply magic to behold, and his impassioned defense of his Xbox is the most impassioned defense any Knick player has shown all season. Judging by how bad the Knicks have been on defense this year, this poor man has had nearly all of his video games stolen from his hands in the past six months. Or, to put it in words that Smith would understand, the Knicks are the Superman 64 of the NBA this year so people must be stealing his video games as frequently as Bowser steals princesses.

Also, fun J.R. Smith fact: he has two daughters according to his Wikipedia page. Thus when he had to think of something he wanted to protect to serve as an analogy for basketball defense, his mind skipped right over children and went straight to Viva Pinata. If you want to dunk on Smith in a game, fine. But if you want to dunk on him in NBA 2K15, watch out. That man loves his Xbox.