‘Futile Piss Simulator’ Reaches Kickstarter Goal

Yep, the title is correct.

In the last few days, Crypt Underworld has reached and exceeded its goal of $10,000.  As far as we can tell, it’s a game about…weeing on things? According to the Kickstarter, Crypt Underworld is the direct sequel to Crypt Worlds.  Apparently, that was another game about weeing on things.  Honestly, the Kickstarter page for this whole thing is totally engrossing; in the way that an acid trip in an abandoned theme park is engrossing.  A GIF of a pixelated, dancing cactus with eyes, is what I’m looking at right now as I type this.


 Just above that image, is a list of features.  I-I’ll…I’ll just copy them here, shall I?


  • exciting piss-based gameplay utilizing revolutionary advancements in piss physics.
  • also now you can piss on people to knock off their limbs and steal them.
  • more in-game stripmalls than you can probably imagine
  • every alley, every door, leads somewhere even worse than before.
  • a complex set of interlocking narratives, with the ability to befriend and become close with certain characters
  • a focus on day-to-day life in the city as you uncover its secrets
  • an apartment you can upgrade, and decorate with the things you find in the world. if you are a dracula you can buy a coffin for it
  • dendygar

Yeah…  Um…  So..

Apparently, there is some kind of story or something… err…sorry, I just got distracted by a throbbing purple frog sitting in some kind of pool…I think it’s dead, maybe.  The story!  So, the developer claims some kind of story being involved.  Since the conclusion of the first game, the protagonist has fallen into the underworld and needs to keep pissing on stuff, or something.

Anyway, there is a trailer.

The Kickstarter is still up for another five days.  So there is still time to back it, if that is something you might wish to do.