Member the games you used to play? We member. The basement at the Hardcore Gamer office has a section known as the Crust Room, with an old grey couch and a big old CRT TV. All the classic systems are down there collecting dust, so in an effort to improve the cleanliness of our work space, we dust off these old consoles every so often and put an old game through its paces, just to make sure everything stays in working order. We even have a beige computer with a floppy disk drive.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles began as a gritty comic book that found extreme success when it transitioned to a bright and colorful Saturday morning cartoon. Anthropomorphic masters of ninjutsu being pitted against other mutants, aliens, robots and creatures from other dimensions has video game cash cow written all over it. The original Ninja Turtles had several great licensed video games, and when the series was rebooted into a cartoon in 2003, it spawned several video games, though the quality of these games varied. The second entry, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Battle Nexus, was not one of the stronger games in the Turtles franchise, nor was it a great game by any reasonable person's assessment. They seemed to be aware of this, as they tried to use a hidden gem to entice buyers.

How this game came into my possession was due to being a fan of the 1987 cartoon and related video games. By the time 2003 rolled around, the Turtles didn't have the same ability at captivating my interest, but seeing a new game in the beat 'em up style conjured up enough pseudo nostalgia to get it. This wasn't the Ninja Turtles that I spent my childhood with, but it was similar enough and the gameplay looked inspired by the old arcade games. A chance was taken with it and the game ended up being good. This led to optimism about Battle Nexus, and hearing that the original 1989 Arcade Game being included as an unlockable sealed the deal. Little did we know that bonus game was a siren song.

On paper Battle Nexus sounds like it would be a great game for fans of the TMNT reboot. Similar to its predecessor, the game is based on the storyline of the cartoon. In this case the game is based on the second season and includes clips from the cartoon to use as a cinematic cutscenes between levels. This also includes the story arc that involved Feudal Japan, similar to the 1993 film Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III, which also explained the origins of Oroku Saki. The 2003 game was good and this sounds like a solid premise for a Turtles game, so how bad could it be?

Unlike its predecessor, but like the old arcade games, Battle Nexus supports four player co-op play. This sounds like a step in the right direction, but with this improved multiplayer functionality comes odd experimental choices with the gameplay. Each player can select a team which is comprised of a turtle and an unlockable character that can be played in place of the turtle. To save the curious the trouble of going to another website, Casey Jones can be unlocked to swap with Raphael, Splinter can be swapped for Donatello, Slashuur replaces Leonardo and Karai steps in for Michelangelo. If less than four players are playing then the teams are divided among the players and each player can swap which team they are controlling. Each team has their own specific strengths. The red team can move heavy objects, the blue team can cut down obstacles and attack while dashing, the orange team can deflect projectiles and the purple team can take advantage of computer consoles. Unlike the majority of multiplayer co-op games, all players share one health bar, so the team is only as good as their weakest link.

Battle Nexus did have interesting ideas for gameplay and a design blueprint that seems like it would appeal to fans of the cartoon, but looks good on paper doesn't always pull off the execution. The animated clips looked great in the cutscenes, but the graphical presentation was one of the lifeless attempts at bringing cel-shading to 3D worlds. The idea of having access to all turtles at once wasn't a bad idea since the show is about the four brothers working as a team, but the implementation just didn't work. Artificial intelligence has come a long way since 2004, but it was terrible even by the standards of the era. Repetitive gameplay isn't inherently a bad thing, it is what some of the best TMNT games are known for after all. The difference is while those games rely on repetition, they're short enough where they don't wear out their welcome. Battle Nexus doesn't know when to end the party. The final rotten anchovy on the pizza is that in any game that requires a lot of platforming and battle precision needs good and responsive controls, which is not something found in Battle Nexus.

After slogging through Battle Nexus, the reward was finally getting to play the 1989 arcade game. This classic was never released in an arcade-perfect form before. There was a port for the NES that was good but made heavy concessions to the graphics and simplified the gameplay. This was a few years before the Xbox 360 existed where we got a proper port, so being able to play the arcade game on as a legit console release was exciting. This seemed like a fitting reward for our work, but oh no, omething was amiss here. The original Ninja Turtles arcade game had a great soundtrack. The music of the first level where April's apartment building is on fire (and the Turtles fearlessly jump in there to save April only, ignoring all other tenants) gets your blood pumping and in the mood to kick shell. Instead of the appropriate battle music, some generic soulless electronic music is playing. Not only is it just not good music, but it's completely useless if you're trying to rally the troops. The change in the intensity level was comparable to swapping Slayer for Alvin and the Chipmunks. For the full nostalgia fix the original game soundtrack should have been included, and instead we got something that tarnished the greatest redeeming factor of Battle Nexus.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Battle Nexus isn't the worst TMNT game according to Metacritic, but it isn't far from it. The recently-released Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder's Revenge and the upcoming Cowabunga Collection will likely bring up fond memories of playing as the heroes in a half shell. This is understandable because there are some great Ninja Turtles games, but not all games that have taken up arms against the Foot Clan fight with honor, and Battle Nexus is one title that overindulged with pizza when it should have been practicing ninjutsu.

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