In the beginning there was Pong, and it started the home gaming revolution. Sure, video games had existed since the 50s, but even something as popular as 1962’s Space War was only available to those who could turn a $120,000 piece of hardware into a toy. That wasn’t a lot of people, but eventually along came the first home console in the form of the Magnavox Odyssey and then Atari cloned its ping-pong game into Pong. And then not a lot happened as Pong got left behind, a relic of the stone age of gaming, until Hypergalactic Psychic Table Tennis 3000 came along and pulled it into the modern era.
Gaming wants more nowadays than four monochrome elements (ball, dotted center line, paddles, score) on the screen, and HPTT3K contains just about everything. RPG upgrades? Yep. Romance options? Check. Magic abilities? Of course. Outfits and hats? They’re not even DLC. It starts out all very simple, classic Pong, but after the opening match comes a level-up and the very first perk. It doesn’t take long for winning to give the option of several possible upgrades, from paddle size and width to speed of movement, or a new spell to add to the selection at the bottom of the screen, or even new equipment. And it’s all voiced by Mark Meer, the voice of Mass Effect’s male-Shepard. Because this is just the kind of world we live in now, where chaos rules and nothing makes sense, and sometimes if we’re lucky the result is the madness of Hypergalactic Psychic Table Tennis 3000.