With a news week that is turning out to be dryer than a British spy's sense of humor, this seems like a good time to regale you with an anecdote. I have this friend who is a Nintendo super-fan. As such, he received one (1) share of stock for the company on his last birthday. Interested in possibly getting stock holder reports and the novelty of owning a share in one of his favorite companies, he treats this the way he would treat a rare amiibo. Currently, the printed share is hanging framed on his wall.

The other day, he received an envelope with Nintendo's return address. Eagerly anticipating his first share holders' statement, and preparing a binder to store it for some bizarre collection, he tore the missive open. It was not a report. Instead, it was a dividend payout for the last quarter. The check was for the amount of (drum roll) three U.S. cents. Christmas is saved! Let this be a lesson to everyone: smart, long term investment yields results. The check in question will be going in said binder.